Story in one sitting

I woke up in a haze of disbelief. The aliens had attacked with such boldness. The bump on the back of my head was killing me...The aliens had taken my truck, my lawn mower and my girlfriend. I grimaced at what might happen to the old F-150. It was vintage and I had just had it painted sea-foam green. Two grand. A real piece of work. And now it was being probed by long green fingers. It made my blood boil and the knot on my skull tingle. "They must be extremely advanced though" I thought as I rummaged around the beer cooler.
They did make a whopper of an error in taking Cindy though. Ah. So goes life. You gotta take the good with the bad. There would be no enjoying sweet if there wasn't no sour, right? I straighted up and tapped the top of a cold one. I smiled. Those buggers are gonna learn that soon enough all right.
Now don't get me wrong. Cindy was a Doll. Happy as a silver dollar. But, she chewed up the couch so bad that I had to chain her to the ball hitch of the Ford! Just to teach her, mind you. They call it positive reinforcement--learned it in college. I took a sip of my frosty brew, and wondered if the aliens had colleges too? I could just imagine it "Zorg, take it to light speed! It is essential that we make it to Alpha Centauri before the eclipse!" A pause, and from below decks the concerned voice of an alien engineer. "Captain, it appears that the earth woman has chewed into our photon reactor--we'll be lucky to get to the moon! Permision to chain her to the stabilizer" Heh! he! You know? Hah! Dadgum it. Thats why they took her. She must have still been chained to the Ford! I walked outside. Whoo boy. Chilly. The dawn was coming and light was spilling over the horizon. Reminded me of the spaceship. I sat on the steps of the trailor and thought 'bout the weirdness of the night. I looked up at the twinkling morning star and whispered, tunefully to my self a bit of a song that always took me through the rough days. "What a wonderful world..."